Is he asking for too much?
March 11th, 2010 by
PinkTulips4Me! asked:
My husband is constantly worried about money even though for 7 1/2 years we’ve NEVER had problems paying our bills and only ONCE a check bounced because of an error he made but our bank cleared it for us so it never was fraudulent. Up until two months ago he used to get paid over $57,000 a year and even though we’ve never really saved money we would travel once a year to California, Arizona and Mexico to visit our parents and family, he gives his daughters money either for child support and/or to help them pay bills (even though one of them lives on her own and has 2 kids) AND gives his parents money in Mexico. He doesn’t like me working away from home especially since I’m homeschooling our son so I don’t work but have been looking for jobs to work at home and he wants me to take a short college course. Do you think it’s fair that he wants a decent amount of money in 2 checking accounts and 1 savings account plus travel and give money to his relatives? We probably go out to eat at a restaurant as a family 3 times a year MAX, go to the movies 4 times a year MAX, have only $400 in credit card bills (due to necesities), own our car and don’t have any hobbies? My son and I don’t celebrate holidays so he saves tons of money there but he gets upset when I occasionally buy myself a dress or something. I’m trying to be very conscientious about his paycheck getting cut $400 less a month so I stopped getting my nails done and use coupons for groceries now and take my 9 year old to a cheap restuarant and order from the dollar menu once a week so I only spend about $20 a month on both of us eating out. Even though his check got cut $400 we’re doing pretty good but for him it’s so stressing him out. He had two side jobs that brought in about $800 extra and he’s still moping around. Don’t get me wrong I’m perfectly fine with him giving money to his relatives but am I just crazy or is it not fair to want good amounts of money in 3 accounts when he gives money away AND we travel? BTW, my parents offered to pay 2 tickets to go see them and I refused because I would still need spending money for two weeks! We’re not going anywhere on his 3 weeks vacations and I’m ok with it. He just makes me feel like I’m not being understanding. The other day I told him he was very negative and he hasn’t really talked to me for a week!!! I TRY to be very positive but he brings me down! Am I the one who is wrong? I told him I would start working ASAP and he said to wait…..
To “Me just being me” thank you for helping me see that I’m not the crazy one! He doesn’t take constructive critizism well so “chatting” is not on our vocabulary when it comes to finances. He’s 10 years older than me so I can’t even SUGGEST he get a haircut or wear cologne cause he’ll get upset and I think cause he’s self-conscious that I’m younger. I’m trying to be a good wife and understanding but he doesn’t see it! Thank you for your input!!!
Dezzy I’ve been telling him “we’re fine” for almost 8 years now!!!! He doesn’t see it that way!!
Dora
My husband is constantly worried about money even though for 7 1/2 years we’ve NEVER had problems paying our bills and only ONCE a check bounced because of an error he made but our bank cleared it for us so it never was fraudulent. Up until two months ago he used to get paid over $57,000 a year and even though we’ve never really saved money we would travel once a year to California, Arizona and Mexico to visit our parents and family, he gives his daughters money either for child support and/or to help them pay bills (even though one of them lives on her own and has 2 kids) AND gives his parents money in Mexico. He doesn’t like me working away from home especially since I’m homeschooling our son so I don’t work but have been looking for jobs to work at home and he wants me to take a short college course. Do you think it’s fair that he wants a decent amount of money in 2 checking accounts and 1 savings account plus travel and give money to his relatives? We probably go out to eat at a restaurant as a family 3 times a year MAX, go to the movies 4 times a year MAX, have only $400 in credit card bills (due to necesities), own our car and don’t have any hobbies? My son and I don’t celebrate holidays so he saves tons of money there but he gets upset when I occasionally buy myself a dress or something. I’m trying to be very conscientious about his paycheck getting cut $400 less a month so I stopped getting my nails done and use coupons for groceries now and take my 9 year old to a cheap restuarant and order from the dollar menu once a week so I only spend about $20 a month on both of us eating out. Even though his check got cut $400 we’re doing pretty good but for him it’s so stressing him out. He had two side jobs that brought in about $800 extra and he’s still moping around. Don’t get me wrong I’m perfectly fine with him giving money to his relatives but am I just crazy or is it not fair to want good amounts of money in 3 accounts when he gives money away AND we travel? BTW, my parents offered to pay 2 tickets to go see them and I refused because I would still need spending money for two weeks! We’re not going anywhere on his 3 weeks vacations and I’m ok with it. He just makes me feel like I’m not being understanding. The other day I told him he was very negative and he hasn’t really talked to me for a week!!! I TRY to be very positive but he brings me down! Am I the one who is wrong? I told him I would start working ASAP and he said to wait…..
To “Me just being me” thank you for helping me see that I’m not the crazy one! He doesn’t take constructive critizism well so “chatting” is not on our vocabulary when it comes to finances. He’s 10 years older than me so I can’t even SUGGEST he get a haircut or wear cologne cause he’ll get upset and I think cause he’s self-conscious that I’m younger. I’m trying to be a good wife and understanding but he doesn’t see it! Thank you for your input!!!
Dezzy I’ve been telling him “we’re fine” for almost 8 years now!!!! He doesn’t see it that way!!
Dora
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